Intuition instead of mind

When you’re in your intuition, you know.
When you’re in your mind, you have a reason.

Yours,
Will

Twitter @williamchoukeir

Related Going fast VS hurrying up + girl with terminal illness or Souls and the gifts they leave behind. are you one of them?

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How is a mountain a problem, sometimes?

To someone born on a mountain, and never seen anything else, she’s not even aware there’s a problem.

To someone born on the coast and never seen anything else, it’s a different story. On the coast, she travels by bicycle. One day she makes a wrong turn, and for the first time, sitting there on her bike, there’s this big mountain in front of her. For her and her bike, the mountain is a problem. She could choose the uphill battle, or she could go back.

For the other person living on the mountain, everything seems horizontal.

For most of us, we’re ‘living on the coast’. Those of us who choose the uphill battle will come out on top. After that, it’ll seem like everything is downhill from there. As if we were born on the mountain. Until a bigger mountain comes along.

I choose mountain. You?

Yours,
Will

Twitter @williamchoukeir

Related How the path of the warrior can help you complete your project or The only way out is through

 

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How defining your message, kills it

I hope you’re doing great.
It’s been a while and I’m missing our interactions.
I’ve been busy but great, and you?
Please write back. I’d like to see you.

Much love,
Will

Compare to:

“I’m just writing to check up on you.
I hope you’re doing great.
It’s been a while and I’m missing our interactions.
I’ve been busy but great, and you?
Please write back. I’d like to see you.

Much love,
Will”

Did you feel the disappointment?  Did you feel the second one to be inauthentic? Fishy? Like there’s something behind it? Those are the ‘objections.’

Defining your message, kills it. The reasoning is simple. It’s embedded in biology not psychology (as Simon Sinek once put it.)

‘Defining’ appeals to the mind. Which in turn produces an average of 6 objections. Appealing to emotions on the other hand, does not produce objections.

That’s the difference between a less convincing long text that covers every objection, and a more effective short text that covers none. Think of long sales letters vs Apple ads.

Knowing how to do that is another story. But like all stories, it starts with trying and failing.

Yours,
Will

Twitter @williamchoukeir

Related how being careful when communicating is a bad thing, and what to do about it –COM103 or the destructive power of ‘but you don’t understand!’ and what to use instead? — COM102

 

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Are you under the illusion that you’re choosing your opportunities?

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Did you chose your opportunities? Or did they chose you.

Most of my life I’ve spent, reacting; to opportunities.

When the coolest girl in school showed interest (2 years older than me), I grabbed the opportunity. I later spent 2 years heartbroken.

When filling out my university application, my uncle said: “Go into architecture, you’ll have a place at my company.” I grabbed it. I later doubled-major with graphic design. I finished architecture, but dropped out at the last mile.

When I got my first freelance project, I said yes. 11 years later, I’m still reacting to incoming projects.

When Anna said: “Come to India with us to the Meditation Center, for a month.” I jumped at the opportunity.

When Patricia invited me to organize TEDxBeirut, I said yes. Best experience of my life.

Would I have set out to do any of these if the opportunities didn’t come my way? No. Is that a problem? No. Do I regret any of it? Nope. What’s the problem then?

The problem is that I reacted. With each opportunity that came my way, I set myself down a long path. A path I didn’t necessarily want to be on in a few years.

Rather than me choosing the path, and spotting the opportunities that take me down that path, I did the opposite. I reacted to the opportunities without any vision of a path. These opportunities chose the path for me.

Enough. I’m choosing my own path now. I’m saying no to most opportunities so I can create enough void and free time. So I could escape the ‘reacting’ mindset. So I could choose my own path. I could later divert into another path. At least I’d know it’s my choice.

The rest of my life I’m spending handpicking or creating my opportunities. You?

Yours,
Will

Twitter @williamchoukeir

Related Why saying ‘Yes’ to opportunities means setting up yourself for failure or What makes you unsuccessful and unhappy? This 1 thing could change that.

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That’s how I am. I can’t do anything about it. I’m sorry.

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There’s no “That’s how I am.”

There’s how everything around you made you without your awareness. And there’s how you consciously made yourself. These are the two things that most make you.

I was having a dream. I’m in a little cabin with a nice lady. A friend of mine is there too. The lady is standing just outside the door on the porch. My friend is standing a the door, leaning left on his hand. I’m watching them from inside, the light from outside glows her golden hair, and makes a silhouette of the rest of them.

“Warm Italian spaghetti topped with a lush tomato sauce and a hint of basil. A cold glass of wine, and strawberry cheesecake for a sweet end.” My friend tells the lady, just out of nowhere.

Her face lights up, “I’m starving!” she replies.

I never did that. Well maybe when I’m asking a girl out the first time. I usually shout out to Hanane from one corner of the studio “I’m hungry, you?” That’s not how I am.

That’s how everything around me made me. I can change that. I like the approach of my friend in the dream. I’ll change my habit. I’ve done that countless times. How I am right now is not how I was 10 years ago.

10 years ago, 80% of me was because of how everything around me made me. Today 80% percent of me is how I consciously made myself. Habit change is all it takes. One tiny habit at a time.

I like today’s me better. You?

Yours,
Will

Twitter @williamchoukeir 

Related : How do we protect ourselves from failure with this habit? or Vegan Chocolate Cheesecake Recipe

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Just lift a finger

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I care about my sister. I truly do. Do I care about her more than she cares for herself? I doubt that.

She’s in school. She hates schooling. She wants to go into acting. Yet she’s not doing anything about it. She doesn’t study, and she doesn’t do anything that gets her closer to acting. 

I tell her a story I’ve read somewhere. Possibly told by Ken Robinson in the Element. There’s this girl living with her poor mother. The girl sees a picture of a university and falls in love. She tells her mom: “I want to go there.” the mom buys 2 tickets and takes her daughter to visit the university. The girl falls in love even more.

Mother and daughter work very hard to get a scholarship. And they do. The poor girl goes to a university she never would’ve dreamed of being in.

The difference between my sister and the girl is that the girl did something about it. She picked a university. She told her mom. 

I’m ready and happy to help my sister. I care about her. Yet the person that cares most about my sister (herself) isn’t doing anything about the situation. So why would the people that care less than her, lift a finger?

I’m trying to inspire her to lift a finger, so that I would.

You’re probably the person that cares most about yourself. If you’re not doing anything to change your situation, please don’t expect someone else to do it for you. It’ll be a miracle you’re waiting for. And miracles are the rarest.

Just lift a finger. Those who care will do the same.

Yours,
Will

Twitter @williamchoukeir

Related Will you take the shortcut or this magic formula?

 

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Hanane, work and life partner, you’re not family anymore

I learned from TEDxBeirut the secret ingredient to inspire a team. It turns out to be simple enough, yet hard to do: when you are under the same conditions as your team, act in front of your team in the way you want them to act. They’ll be inspired to do the same.

I haven’t been this fortunate with Hanane. She’s a partner at .:there for design… and in my life. Somehow, I treat her like family. And you know what that means. Bad idea.

This means that everything I know about communicating with people, everything I write in my notes, and everything I’ve learned from TEDxBeirut goes down the drain when I interact with Hanane.

Now that I realize this, sitting with my thoughts this morning, it’s time to change it. Hanane, I’m treating you like a team member. You’re not family anymore.

At this point, three questions come to my mind:

1. Why haven’t I realized this obvious fact before.
2. Should I really be publishing this private note before I change my behavior?
3. Will it not work because Hanane read it and is now aware it?

Yours,
Will

Twitter @williamchoukeir

Related: How TEDxBeirut revealed the secret ingredient to inspire a team

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