That’s how I am. I can’t do anything about it. I’m sorry.

Notes_by_william_choukeir_dsc0718

There’s no “That’s how I am.”

There’s how everything around you made you without your awareness. And there’s how you consciously made yourself. These are the two things that most make you.

I was having a dream. I’m in a little cabin with a nice lady. A friend of mine is there too. The lady is standing just outside the door on the porch. My friend is standing a the door, leaning left on his hand. I’m watching them from inside, the light from outside glows her golden hair, and makes a silhouette of the rest of them.

“Warm Italian spaghetti topped with a lush tomato sauce and a hint of basil. A cold glass of wine, and strawberry cheesecake for a sweet end.” My friend tells the lady, just out of nowhere.

Her face lights up, “I’m starving!” she replies.

I never did that. Well maybe when I’m asking a girl out the first time. I usually shout out to Hanane from one corner of the studio “I’m hungry, you?” That’s not how I am.

That’s how everything around me made me. I can change that. I like the approach of my friend in the dream. I’ll change my habit. I’ve done that countless times. How I am right now is not how I was 10 years ago.

10 years ago, 80% of me was because of how everything around me made me. Today 80% percent of me is how I consciously made myself. Habit change is all it takes. One tiny habit at a time.

I like today’s me better. You?

Yours,
Will

Twitter @williamchoukeir 

Related : How do we protect ourselves from failure with this habit? or Vegan Chocolate Cheesecake Recipe

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6 Responses to That’s how I am. I can’t do anything about it. I’m sorry.

  1. Mohammed Fathi says:

    well 😀 i am in need for such words at this moment 🙂 thanxxx 😀

  2. Anonymous says:

    "well 😀 i am in need for such words at this moment 🙂 thanxxx :D" Thanks Mo for the encouragement to keep sharing my private notes. Love you always.

  3. Sara Sibai says:

    I agree, we need that reminder of how it all starts with awareness. It wasn’t until I left Lebanon for a year that I realized how much of me became me without my say in it! It shook me to the core. I would hear myself speak and not realize it was me! It’s a constant struggle now to be me by choice…whoever me is. We’re still getting to know each other.

  4. Anonymous says:

    "It wasn’t until I left Lebanon for a year that I realized how much of me became me without my say in it! It shook me to the core. " I love this! Thanks Sara. Isn’t it the struggles of all of us? Those that are aware at least.

  5. Eddy says:

    to be unconsciously tamed or to be formed, they both include the world but the difference i guess is that when tamed you let the currant take you anywhere even places you do not need to be in or wish to be in but when formed you take matters into your own hands and choose whether to swim with it(embrace it) or against it(refuse it and seek to change it), a valuable lesson my philosophy teacher taught me and which you reminded me of today

  6. nader tfayli says:

    I am happy I read this today :)everything changes, everyone changes, willingly or not, we either become better or worse, according to the surroundings. Consciously changing yourself without cutting back on your life, your people and your entourage is the hardest.I believe everything you’ve been through in life and everyone you met are experiences, you never touch something without taking a piece of it, and you leave a bit of you.. I personally am in a nice place now, messy sometimes, stressful some other times, but definitely beautiful.Thanks 🙂

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