the destructive power of stealing energy, and what to do about it? -or how to get a life- (part 2 of 2) — ENE102b

pre-requisite: the destructive power of stealing energy, and what to do about it? (part 1 of 2) — ENE102a

how do you prevent someone from stealing your energy? how you prevent yourself from stealing someone else’s energy? how do you raise your energy level if you have none in the first place? where to get energy from? the single most overlooked habit that makes you ‘think’ you’re raising your energy. and how to keep your energy high, and get real signs when it’s falling?

of course, there are many ways to recharge your energy. most are not really practical for most people. meditation is one of those ways. it takes years to master, it takes lots of dedication and effort, and you need a community around you that can already meditate effectively. and most of the time, the community comes with it’s own rules and regulations. you start by just wanting to boost your energy level, and then they either ask you to stop meat, or they ask you to wake up at a certain time, or sleep at a certain time. or you have to watch what you eat,  and when you eat it. or you have to fast before you meditate, etc. of course these are fine for someone who’s looking for a spiritual path. that person doesn’t mind waiting 3 years to see results. but not you.

what if you want to go on with your normal life, doing the things you love, being with the people you like, and at the same time be fully recharged, happy, stress-less, and radiating energy? what if you want today to stop stealing the energy of people? and help them not steal yours? is it really possible? I believe it is. my friend who initiated the conversation behind this note tried it. and she called me up the next day telling me that it already made a difference in her relationship.

and keep in mind, although it’s simple enough, and it completely integrates into your daily life, it does take conscious effort to actually initiate it at first. you can’t be lazy and do this at the same time. if you’re looking for a way that works while being lazy, you will NEVER find one. you have to choose, you can either be lazy, or happy. and this is hard, especially if your energy level is very low initially. but once you start, it basically maintains itself. and also grows you, matures you, evolves you uncontrollably, and greatly expands your comfort zone: spiritually, mentally, socially, and emotionally.

I’ll just plainly state it, and then explain exactly the process, how it works, and why it works. and don’t be fooled by it’s simplicity:
“do hard and challenging things that you enjoy + surround yourself with the tribe and culture around those things.”

notice, I said “hard and challenging things”. doing things that you simply enjoy will not work. why? doing easy things is well, easy. and easy things require little energy, and no effort. you can enjoy eating, sleeping, shopping, watching dvds, but that won’t boost your energy. that will just make you feel ok temporarily. once the activity is done, you’ll probably feel worst than when you started.

doing hard and challenging things require high levels of energy, effort, and hard work. and the first step to raising your energy level is for you to enjoy doing those challenging things. I’ll get the why soon. first I want to give examples of challenging activities that I love doing so you can get a clearer picture: running, hiking, climbing, TEDx salon gatherings, challenging conversations with geeks, technical problem solving, visiting old villages and mingling with strangers and elders, collective cooking, etc. now as you can see, besides the first two, I can’t really do these activities by myself. and even those that I can do by myself, I don’t.

there are always other people involved. first, let me tell you why it’s vital for the activities to be hard. imagine you have a thermometer, but instead of temperature, it gauges the amount of effort each activity requires. sleeping, eating, shopping are on the very bottom of the thermometer scale. climbing, mentally demanding conversations, and problem solving score very high on the scale. this means that for you to climb, you need a high level of energy. which also means that if you climb often, you’re constantly making sure that your level of energy is high, or else you can’t climb.

and for me, this is the only sign that I need to make sure that my energy is alway high. if the day i’ve planned to go to TEDx comes, but I don’t feel like it, I’d rather not get out of bed, showering, and driving at 9pm seems like a chore. then, that’s my cue. my energy level is low. and laziness is seeping in. and the only way to prevent my energy from going down even further, is to actually get up, shower, get dressed, and leave. and I’m sure you’re wondering:

“but if your energy is low, how can you do the hard activities in the first place? and if these activities actually require lots of energy, wouldn’t doing them actually cause you to loose energy?!”

and the answer is simple: other people. and this is the single most overlooked habit that makes you think you’re “getting a life”. the friend who initiated this note told me: “but I never stopped dancing, nor any of my other activities, but I feel so drained and stressed anyways.” and I ask her: “what do you do after your dancing class?” she says, nothing, everyone leaves. you see now what the problem is?

those hard activities are never about the activities themselves. they’re about the tribes that comes with them. the people. the energies of the people. the collective. imagine you’re constantly surrounded by people who have a very high energy. imagine you’re constantly interacting with these people. imagine the explosions, and exponential multiplication of the collective energy in the group. remember this paragraph from part 1:

“the best possible scenario in any relationship is where both couples have a lot of energy to spare, and when they get together, no one tries to steal. instead, they share, they give, they exchange, they grow into each other. and amazingly this creates an explosive atmosphere of energy. the energy that they both came in with, multiplies exponentially. they both have an experience that takes their breath away. it feels like paradise. it is. and they both end up with an energy tenfold more than they came in with, and also a different, higher, more vibrant quality. and an experience that’s out of this world.”

now imagine the very same experience is the one you have in every single activity that you do. how can you be unhappy? how can you have low energy? how can you feel depleted? you absolutely can’t. because these are hard and challenging activities that require high energy, and they are surrounded by a tribe with tenfold more energy than is required by these activities. so even if your energy is depleted, just get up and go.

as soon as you get to your tribe, you will recharge in mere minutes from the energy of the collective. and this is different from stealing. in a one-on-one situation, one person can only take from the other. in a 3 person situation, if 2 people with high energy are already creating explosions of energy, the 3rd can absorb all he wants without depleting anyones energy. in a group where most members have very high energy, explosions are happening constantly, and energy is radiated in abundance. everyone is free to take all he wants, because once these low energy members are recharged, they will then contribute to the collective explosions of the group. this is what a tribe is. the tribe collectively supports and boosts members to raise them all to the collective high level of energy.

and this is how you can prevent yourself from stealing someone else’s energy, and prevent someone else from stealing yours: if someone is trying to steal yours, involve at least a 3rd person with already a high level of energy. if you’re trying to steal someone else’s, then go out and do hard and challenging activities, and most importantly, surround yourself with the tribe around those activities. don’t make the mistake that my friend did. don’t just go to dancing class and leave. mingle with the tribe, share, interact, and multiply the collective energy exponentially. 

that’s how you not only fix your relationship, that’s how you fix your life. that’s how you never have an argument again. that’s how you grow, you evolve, and you find happiness in everything that you do. and one activity isn’t enough, the more activities you have, the more variety you have, the better the quality of energy that you radiate. and the move value you bring to your tribes, and ultimately to your life.

easy tasks require little energy. you don’t need high energy to get them done. and they are surrounded by people with low energy.

hard activities ensure that you always have a high level of energy to perform them. and they are always surrounded by people creating explosions of energy. go out, find your tribes, and mingle.

that’s meditation for the rest of us.

yours, will

twitter: @williamchoukeir

highly related: you/him/her: I’m sick of doing it your way, I want us to do it my way — ENE101


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6 Responses to the destructive power of stealing energy, and what to do about it? -or how to get a life- (part 2 of 2) — ENE102b

  1. Anonymous says:

    This is genious, true, motivating, touching, and once again very accurate!great post as always!

  2. Anonymous says:

    thanks marc, that’s the only motivation i need to keep going. i’m still trying to find time to get to your blog. it’s hectic this time of year. christmas, sister wedding, new year + work + notes. i will this week, promise. love you.

  3. roy maalouf says:

    what i like about your article the simplicity in it,very clear ideas that we can experience in everyday life.good work.

  4. Anonymous says:

    <html><body bgcolor="#FFFFFF"><div>I'm honored roy. thank you so much.<br><br><br></div><div><br></div></body></html>

  5. Jill Noble says:

    This is realy good stuff. My childeren and i are involed in activitys but I never spent time mingaling. I recently realized my husbsand is stealing energy from me when he get home from work. Every thing else i have read tells me to concesly not give it to him but then that makes me seem cold and uncaring. Any advice?

  6. Anonymous says:

    <div dir="ltr">thank you Jill for writing this.<div>i know it's not easy, but i recommend that you try to talk (or lure) your husband into 'hard' activities that he might enjoy.</div><div>you can start by going them together. you can go with him to these activities until he's hooked.</div> <div>then you can gently switch to attending hard activities that you might enjoy.</div><div><br></div><div>this will leave you both energized and no one has to stel from the other.</div><div>i hope this helps.</div><div> please write back with how things went, it might help other people with a similar problem.<br><br></div></div>

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