why keep the curtains open? and how it’s not the same as being transparent. — COM101

“keep the curtain up at all costs.”
_michel gerber in his book the e-myth revisited.

I was talking to a close friend one evening about his relationship with his girlfriend. and I asked him how transparent his relationship is. ‘pretty transparent.’ he answered. transparent isn’t good enough I said. you have to keep the curtain up at all costs for the relationship to work.

the difference between being transparent and keeping the curtains up is the time aspect of it. intervals VS always on.

in any relationship, not just in a couple, things happen individually, with each person, then they share sometime later. most of the time after the point of no return has passed. this is being transparent. there’s a certain delay.

take a theater play as example. a scene happens, then the curtains close. things happen behind the curtains. then the curtains open and show you what happened, the end result. never the process. this is close to what being transparent is.  keeping the curtain up is a whole different ball game.

the curtains never close. the audience is aware all the time what’s happening. there’s no surprise after the curtains open. and this same idea applies to relationships. everyone involved in this relationship is aware of the whole process as things evolve and change. when the point of no return happens, everybody is already aware and ok with it.

hanane is my partner in life. and this is what we practice together. I share with her my thoughts as they happen. I share with her the process, not just the end result. this way I never have to show her the results and explain myself. she knows. she understands. there are no drastic changes. only a constant process of subtle changes.

we all change. and out of respect for everyone involved with us, we owe it to them to involve them in the process. and because I respect the whole world, and because I could be involved with anyone of you at any time, I choose to keep anyone who chooses involved in my process and evolution. I choose to keep the curtain up for the whole world. at all costs.

remember, if you care about any of your relationships, don’t open the curtains up at different intervals in time. keep it open all the time. see you all back here on Tomorrow, Tuesday 14 December, 2010 (the notes are now live). that’s when the curtains open opened up for good.

yours, will.

twitter: @williamchoukeir

p.s. please bug me and hold me to my words if I ever close the curtains. love you all.


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4 Responses to why keep the curtains open? and how it’s not the same as being transparent. — COM101

  1. Hanane Kai says:

    totally agree with you.. do i need to say? :)your post cannot not remind me with what i have noticed during this week in the Netherlands: Dutch people don’t seem to bother with curtains. why? maybe because they are Dutch > they are so direct & upfront with everything that they have nothing to hide.and they are really carefree in their life that they translate that into their homes with not having curtains.how is this story of physical curtains related to the virtual curtains you were talking about? i donno… just felt like sharing. probably there’s a link somewhere, or a lesson we can learn from the Dutch. you are good with finding these things 🙂

  2. Anonymous says:

    <html><head></head><body style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; ">i believe that it’s directly related. not having curtains is a direct result of them being more open, and thus, less judgmental of each other. and when you live in a non-judgemental society, you don’t need curtains, because will NOT see what you’re doing as wrong. they will see it as it is. no questions asked.&nbsp;<div><br></div><div>the individual does not believe in making the whole of society just like him.<div><br></div><div>also it’s cold in the netherlands, and they don’t need curtains blocking the little sun that they get :-D<br><div><br class="Apple-interchange-newline"> <div style="width: 600px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;" class="PosterousEmail"></div></div></div></div></body></html>

  3. Farid Younes says:

    donc, pour toi et pour hanane: "It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." F.N.

  4. Anonymous says:

    <html><body bgcolor="#FFFFFF"><div>Farid, thank you so much for taking the time to read. I always admire the sharpness in your thoughts, and how you present them in words that are as sharp, brief, and intensely powerful. I admire that more than you can imagine.</div> <div><br></div><div>your absolutely right. friendship in any relationship is key.</div><div>chapeau bas pour toi et pour Nietzsche. je suis fi??re d'??tre ton ??l??ve mon ma??tre.<br></div><div></div><blockquote type="cite"> <div> <div style="width: 600px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;" class="PosterousEmail"></div></div></body></html>

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